Watching and reading the news from Haiti unfold, writing about anything else seems futile, and having anything meaningful to say seem a struggle in the face of such tragedy.
I listened to the Haitian Ambassador to the US say that the Lord gives and takes away, as he framed the work ahead for his country. Would I have that level of faith I wondered?
I'm sure like many, events like this where the poorest and the weakest are hurt so deeply, lead me to ask 'why God?' And where are You?
I've long noticed that I can maintain faith whilst bad things happen to others, as they are all the time, in the most appalling ways, for they are out of sight. Then when something happens to those I love, and faith is tested more, just because it's happened to someone I know, and closer to me perhaps. Then when it happens to me, doubts rear their head the most.
This reveals the selfish nature of my doubts process. And then Haiti happens and the scale of suffering, overwhelms that process and self insulation.
So today I'm not going to try to offer an answer for my doubts, which would still be about me, for I am not the one suffering.