I had one of those days yesterday. A long dark 'tea time of the soul', rather than a long dark night, where I went to bed tired, and feeling the impossibility of trying to form a church community amidst the rising tide of secular consumer religion.
That melancholy led (as it usually does in my thought processes) to me asking Jesus if he knew what he was doing, then to question my suitability and capabilities for ministry, studies, teaching etc.
I woke up this morning, tired and still questioning, and on my drive to the office, found myself deep in conversational prayer, the culmination of which was to ask Jesus if he could let me know he was involved in my life and what I was doing. Just some gentle reassurance.
I got into my office, opened my email, to find a message from a friend, the other side of the world, who sent me a 'word', and in charismatic terms 'read my mail'. By that I mean his email contained words and phrases from my prayer as I arrived at the office, from my extended conversation in the car on the way to the office.
It addressed the contents of my prayer so deeply and profoundly, I found myself crying, and worshipping. So today I am reminded that Jesus is alive and involved in my life, and that 20 years after choosing to follow his voice, I chose to continue to do so today.
So as I close, this reflection, I wondered, have you heard from Jesus lately? How/what and where has he been talking to you? (ps. I'm adding this after some of the comments. I'm not espousing this as a daily occurrence, or expectation. It was a wonderful, reminder to me that Jesus can and does break through the mundane. The larger context for this post is that most of my blog is about the recovery of a mundane spirituality. Interesting that all the times I post about the absence/difficulties of God, that is more digestible, or certainly less pejorative.)