The gospels, and OT, and some pauline quotes, have the phrase :
Ephesians 6:2Â (New International Version) 2"Honor your father and mother"
My mother would often use this to make me feel guilty. It was a co-dependent way to manipulate me, and was used in terms of you will do what I want, ask, need, as the bible says to honor your parents.
It took until I was 35 to realize that honoring my parents could not include, being co-dependent, rescuing them from the decision and choices they were making. In fact to honor them was to set boundaries, to help them live as adults, and accept the consequences of ther behaviors, that was being a better son.
I met a guy the other day, who is a family therapist, and he suggested I write the things that honor my parents, the things I am grateful for, and he's right. In the midst of the pain, from the post below, there is a lot I am grateful for.
My mother always wanted me to do well, and said I was great, and was going to go to university, when I came from a family and background where no-one did. She instilled in me the belief that my life was bigger than the problems we had as a family. Also she was loving, and affectionate, and never criticized me for failing, but said 'just do your best'.
She also got me into music, and came along to everything I played and performed at, even though I am sure she never like the classical music that was played. She was there to see me.
And my mother got me into a school the other side of town, in the days when you had no choice over school, and it was a life saver, as the school near me was a haven for drugs and crime. Thank you mum for that, it set me up for life.
My father, when he was around was loving, funny, I still remember some terrible jokes he told me when I was about 8-10 years old.
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